Understanding Your Custody Papers

What You're Holding

Those papers have a structure. Once you understand it, the panic drops a notch. Here's what each section means and what to focus on.

The Caption

The top of the first page shows the court name, county, case number, and the names of both parties. The person who filed is the Petitioner (or Plaintiff). You — the person being served — are the Respondent (or Defendant). Being the respondent does not mean you're at a disadvantage. It simply means you didn't file first.

Write down the case number. You'll need it for everything — every form you file, every call to the court clerk, every document your attorney prepares.

The Petition or Complaint

This is the core document. It lays out what the other party is asking the court to order. Read it line by line. Look for:

• Custody requests: Are they asking for sole custody, joint custody, or primary physical custody? There's a difference between legal custody (decision-making authority) and physical custody (where the child lives).
• Parenting time requests: What schedule are they proposing? Standard visitation? Something more restrictive?
• Child support: Are they requesting support? Do they list an amount?
• Property division: If this is a divorce, what are they claiming?
• Temporary orders: Are they asking for immediate, temporary orders before the full hearing? These are critical — temporary orders often become permanent.

The Summons

This tells you that you've been formally notified of the case and states your deadline to respond. This deadline is not negotiable. In most states:

• California: 30 days
• Texas: Monday after 20 days
• Florida: 20 days
• Ohio: 28 days
• New York: 20–30 days depending on service method

If you miss this deadline, the court can enter a default judgment — meaning the other side gets everything they asked for without you having any say. Do not let this happen.

Temporary Restraining Orders (if included)

Some petitions come with automatic temporary restraining orders (ATROs). In California, for example, these are standard in every divorce filing. They typically prevent both parties from:

• Moving children out of state
• Hiding or disposing of assets
• Changing insurance policies
• Harassing the other party

These are mutual — they apply to both sides. Read them carefully and follow them exactly.

The Prayer for Relief

At the end of the petition, there's a section that starts with "Wherefore" or "Prayer for Relief." This is the formal list of everything the other side wants the judge to order. Read every item. Some may seem standard, but others may be aggressive requests you need to contest.

What to Do With This Information

1. Highlight every request the other side is making
2. Note every deadline mentioned in the documents
3. List your questions for your attorney consultation
4. Don't panic about what they're asking for — asking is not getting

For a deeper understanding of family law terminology, visit Nolo.com's Family Law section.

Remember: the petition is the other side's opening argument. It's written to favor them. Your response is where you tell your side.