You Just Got Served — First 72 Hours

Read Every Page Right Now

Pick up those papers and read every single word. Look for three things immediately: the court name and case number, what the other side is asking for, and your deadline to respond. That response deadline is the most important date in your life right now. In most states it's 20–30 days from the date you were served. Miss it, and the court can grant everything the other side asked for by default — without hearing your side.

Write the deadline on your calendar, your phone, a sticky note on your bathroom mirror. Set three reminders.

Do NOT Contact Your Ex About the Case

This is the hardest rule and the most important one. Do not call, text, email, or show up to discuss the papers. Anything you say can and will be used against you. Every word you type is a potential exhibit. If you share children and need to communicate about logistics, keep it brief, factual, and about the kids only. Use a co-parenting app like OurFamilyWizard or TalkingParents so everything is documented.

Find an Attorney Within 48 Hours

You need a family law attorney — not a general practitioner, not your buddy who does DUIs. Call at least three for consultations. Most offer a free or low-cost initial consultation.

Where to search:

• Avvo — attorney ratings, reviews, and free Q&A
• Martindale-Hubbell — peer-rated attorney directory
• LawHelp.org — find free legal aid by state
• ABA Free Legal Answers — free online legal Q&A

State bar referral services (actual links):

• California: calbar.ca.gov
• Texas: texasbar.com
• Florida: floridabar.org
• Ohio: ohiobar.org
• New York: nysba.org

Secure Your Finances Today

Open a separate bank account in your name only. Do NOT drain joint accounts — that looks terrible in court — but make sure you have access to funds for an attorney retainer and living expenses. Start documenting all shared assets, debts, income, and expenses. Pull your credit report. Photograph or scan important financial documents.

Start a Documentation Journal

Buy a composition notebook or open a dedicated notes app. Every single day, write: the date, what happened with the kids, any communication with the other parent, and anything relevant to your case. This becomes evidence. Be factual, not emotional — write it as if the judge will read every word, because they might.

Lock Down Social Media

Make every account private. Better yet, stop posting entirely until the case is resolved. Screenshots of your posts will show up in court. That photo of you at a bar on a Tuesday? Exhibit A. That vague angry post? Exhibit B.

Take Care of Yourself

This is a crisis. Treat it like one. If you're not sleeping, not eating, or having dark thoughts, reach out now:

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 — 988lifeline.org
• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 — crisistextline.org
• NAMI Helpline: 1-800-950-6264 — nami.org/help

Next Steps

1. Read the papers completely and note your response deadline
2. Call three family law attorneys tomorrow morning
3. Open a separate bank account
4. Start your documentation journal today
5. Make all social media private or deactivate