Emergency Checklist: First 7 Days After Service

Day 1: Breathe. Then Read.

• [ ] Read every page of the papers you were served
• [ ] Write down your response deadline in three places (calendar, phone, sticky note)
• [ ] Write down the case number and court name
• [ ] Identify what the other side is asking for (custody, support, property)
• [ ] Do NOT contact your ex about the case
• [ ] Do NOT post anything on social media
• [ ] Secure important documents: birth certificates, tax returns, pay stubs, bank statements, mortgage/lease documents

Day 2: Find Legal Help

• [ ] Search for family law attorneys — aim for at least 3 consultations:
  • Avvo — search by location and specialization
  • Martindale-Hubbell — peer-rated directory
  • Your state bar's referral service (see links below)
• [ ] If you can't afford an attorney:
  • LawHelp.org — free legal aid by state
  • ABA Free Legal Answers — free online Q&A
• [ ] Schedule consultations for this week
• [ ] Prepare questions: What's my best/worst case? What's the timeline? Payment plans?

Day 3: Secure Your Finances

• [ ] Open a bank account in your name only (do NOT drain joint accounts)
• [ ] Document all joint assets and debts
• [ ] Pull your credit report at annualcreditreport.com
• [ ] Change passwords on personal email and accounts
• [ ] Screenshot or photograph all shared financial accounts (current balances)
• [ ] Gather last 3 years of tax returns, recent pay stubs, mortgage/lease agreements

Day 4: Start Your Documentation System

• [ ] Start a daily journal (composition notebook or dedicated app)
• [ ] Record: date, time with kids, communications, anything case-related
• [ ] Write as if the judge will read every entry
• [ ] Set up a co-parenting app for all communication:
  • OurFamilyWizard — court-approved, $99/yr
  • TalkingParents — free tier available
• [ ] Create a folder (physical or digital) for all case documents

Day 5: Attorney Consultations

• [ ] Attend your attorney consultations (bring the papers you were served)
• [ ] Ask about retainer costs ($2,500–$10,000 is typical)
• [ ] Ask about payment plans
• [ ] Ask about your response deadline and what your response should include
• [ ] Choose an attorney or decide if you'll represent yourself

Day 6: Prepare Your Response

• [ ] If you hired an attorney: confirm they're drafting your response
• [ ] If pro se: visit your county court's self-help center or Family Law Self-Help Center
• [ ] Gather evidence and documents your attorney needs
• [ ] Identify potential witnesses who can speak to your parenting

Day 7: Self-Check

• [ ] Confirm your response will be filed before the deadline
• [ ] Review your documentation journal — is it up to date?
• [ ] Check your mental health honestly. Are you sleeping? Eating? Functioning?
  • 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 — 988lifeline.org
  • Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
  • SAMHSA Helpline: 1-800-662-4357 (free, 24/7)
• [ ] Tell one trusted person what you're going through
• [ ] Make social media private or deactivate all accounts

State Bar Referral Links

• California: calbar.ca.gov
• Texas: texasbar.com
• Florida: floridabar.org
• Ohio: ohiobar.org
• New York: nysba.org

Print this checklist. Check off each item as you go. You've got this.