Your Rights During a Restraining Order

You Still Have Rights

A restraining order restricts your behavior, but it doesn't strip you of all rights. Understanding exactly what you can and cannot do keeps you safe from accidental violations — and keeps your case intact.

What the Order Typically Prohibits

Standard restraining orders usually include:

No contact with the protected person (direct or through third parties)
Stay away from their home, work, school, and vehicle
No harassment, threats, or intimidation
Move-out order: You may be required to leave a shared residence
Firearms surrender: Federal law (and most state laws) prohibit firearm possession while a DV restraining order is in effect
Property restrictions: Cannot destroy, sell, or hide shared property

What You CAN Do

Attend court hearings: The restraining order does not prevent you from attending hearings in the same case or related cases
Communicate through your attorney: Legal communication through counsel is permitted
Exercise court-ordered parenting time: If the restraining order includes custody provisions, follow them exactly. If the order is silent on custody and you have a separate custody order, that order remains in effect unless explicitly modified
Access shared property through legal channels (request a police escort for a one-time retrieval of personal items)
Request modification of the order through the court

Move-Out Orders and Property Access

If you're ordered to leave your shared home:

You have the right to take personal belongings, medications, and work-related items
Request a police civil standby to accompany you while you retrieve items
Make a list of what you need before going
Do not go back without permission or a police escort
You may still be responsible for mortgage or rent payments — discuss with your attorney

Communication Restrictions

The no-contact provision is absolute:

No phone calls, texts, emails, or letters
No contact through social media (including reactions, comments, or views of stories)
No contact through third parties ("tell her I said...")
No showing up where they'll be
Exception: Some orders allow limited contact about children through a co-parenting app or specifically designated method. Read your order carefully.

If You Share Children

This is where it gets complicated:

Follow the custody provisions in the restraining order exactly
If child exchanges are required, use the method specified (often through a third party or at a public location)
Do not use the children as messengers
Do not discuss the case with the children
If the order prohibits contact but doesn't address custody, consult your attorney immediately — you may need an emergency motion for parenting time

Accidental Violations

What if you run into them at the grocery store? If an encounter is genuinely accidental:

Leave immediately. You have the obligation to remove yourself.
Do not speak to them, wave, or acknowledge them.
Go to a different part of the store or leave entirely.
Document the encounter (date, time, what happened, that you left).

Accidental encounters can be explained, but only if you left promptly. Staying makes it look intentional.

Modification and Dissolution

You can request the court to:

Modify the order (change specific provisions)
Dissolve the order (end it early)

This requires a motion and a hearing. The court will consider whether circumstances have changed and whether the protected party still has a reasonable fear.

Next Steps

Read every word of your restraining order — know exactly what it says
Set up clear boundaries to avoid accidental violations
Arrange for property retrieval with a police escort if needed
Consult your attorney about custody and parenting time
Never test the boundaries of the order — when in doubt, don't