How to Document Custody Violations

Documentation Wins Cases

The father who documents wins. The father who says "trust me, it happened" loses. Courts run on evidence, and in custody disputes, your evidence is only as good as your documentation system.

What to Record for Every Violation

Create a log entry for each incident with these elements:

• [ ] Date and time: Exact. Not "sometime last week."
• [ ] What the order says: Quote the specific provision being violated
• [ ] What was supposed to happen: "I was scheduled for pickup at 6:00 PM per the order"
• [ ] What actually happened: "I arrived at 6:00 PM. No one was home. I waited until 6:30 PM."
• [ ] Your response: "I texted at 6:05 PM and 6:15 PM via TalkingParents. No response."
• [ ] Witnesses: Name and relationship of anyone who was there
• [ ] Impact on children: "Children missed their soccer practice that evening"
• [ ] Screenshots or records: Save everything

How to Record

Co-Parenting Apps (Recommended)

• OurFamilyWizard: $99/year per parent. Court-approved in most jurisdictions. Unalterable message records, shared calendar, expense log. Many courts specifically order this app. Fee waivers available.
• TalkingParents: Free basic tier. Timestamped, unalterable records. Court-admissible. Print-ready reports.

Using one of these apps for ALL co-parenting communication is the single best thing you can do for your case.

Backup Documentation

• Dedicated notebook: A composition book (pages can't be torn out) for daily notes
• Text messages: Screenshot every relevant exchange. Include the date, time, contact name, and full message thread for context.
• Emails: Save to a dedicated folder. Print periodically.
• Photos: Timestamp matters — use your phone's default camera (metadata includes date/time)
• Video: Same rules as photos. Keep it factual, not confrontational.

What Holds Up in Court

• App records: Strongest evidence — timestamped, unalterable, organized
• Written communication: Texts and emails are admissible in most jurisdictions
• Contemporaneous notes: Notes written at or near the time of the event carry more weight than notes written weeks later
• Third-party records: School attendance, medical records, police reports
• Witness testimony: People who directly observed the violation

What Doesn't Hold Up

• Hearsay: "My neighbor told me that..." isn't evidence of what happened
• Secret recordings: Check your state's recording laws. In two-party consent states (California, Florida, Illinois, and others), recording someone without their knowledge is illegal. In one-party consent states, you can record conversations you're part of.
• Doctored evidence: Never alter screenshots, messages, or documents. Judges and attorneys spot this, and it destroys your credibility.
• Vague accusations: "She always does this" without specific dates and details

Creating a Violation Log

Use this format for each entry:

Date: [MM/DD/YYYY]
Time: [HH:MM AM/PM]
Order Provision: [Quote the specific section]
Violation: [What happened — facts only]
My Response: [What I did]
Evidence: [What I saved — screenshots, app records, etc.]
Witnesses: [Name, relationship, contact]
Impact on Child: [Brief, factual statement]

How Much Documentation Do You Need?

More is better, but quality matters more than quantity. Three well-documented violations with dates, evidence, and witnesses are worth more than twenty vague complaints. Judges want to see a pattern — but a clear pattern only needs a few strong data points.

Next Steps

1. Set up TalkingParents (free) or OurFamilyWizard today
2. Start your violation log using the template above
3. Move ALL co-parenting communication to the app
4. Screenshot and save any existing text/email evidence
5. Store everything in an organized file system