Contempt of Court: What the Judge Needs to See

The Legal Standard for Contempt

Contempt isn't just "they broke the rules." It's a legal proceeding with a specific burden of proof. Understand what the judge needs before you file.

The Three Elements

To find someone in contempt, most courts require you to prove all three:

1. A valid, existing court order: The order must be clear and specific. Vague language works against you. If the order says "reasonable visitation" without specific times, it's hard to prove a violation.

2. Knowledge of the order: The other party must have known about the order. If they were present when it was issued or were properly served, this element is usually met.

3. Willful violation: This is where most cases are won or lost. You must show the violation was intentional, not accidental or due to circumstances beyond their control. "I forgot" or "the car broke down" are defenses. "I decided you don't deserve your time" is contempt.

Burden of Proof

In most states, civil contempt (the kind used in custody cases) requires proof by clear and convincing evidence. This is higher than the standard in regular civil cases (preponderance of the evidence) but lower than criminal cases (beyond a reasonable doubt). Your evidence needs to be strong, specific, and well-organized.

Pattern vs. Isolated Incidents

Judges weigh patterns more heavily than isolated incidents:

• Single incident: Unless it's egregious (kidnapping, significant safety issue), a single violation might get a warning. Judges give grace for genuine one-time problems.
• Pattern of violations: Three or more documented violations of the same provision show willful disregard. This is what you need to demonstrate.
• Escalating violations: If the behavior is getting worse over time, document that trajectory. It shows the situation requires intervention.

Types of Evidence Judges Value Most

1. The order itself: Bring a highlighted copy showing the specific provisions violated
2. Communication records: Co-parenting app logs (OurFamilyWizard, TalkingParents), texts, emails showing your attempts to exercise your time and their refusal
3. Calendar/log: Your documented record of each violation
4. Third-party records: School records showing the child wasn't where they should have been, police reports if you called about denied access
5. Witness testimony: People who observed the denial of parenting time

Realistic Expectations

Here's what actually happens in most contempt cases:

• First finding: Usually a stern warning and an order to comply. Judges prefer to give people a chance to correct behavior.
• Second finding: Make-up parenting time, possible attorney fee award, maybe a fine.
• Third+ finding: More significant sanctions — larger fines, modification of custody, in rare cases, jail time.

Contempt is a marathon, not a sprint. Judges watch for patterns over time. Your first contempt filing establishes the record. Subsequent filings build on it.

When Contempt Isn't Worth Pursuing

Be honest with yourself about whether contempt is the right tool:

• The violations are minor and infrequent (15 minutes late occasionally)
• You've contributed to the problem (both sides bending the schedule)
• The order itself is unworkable and needs modification instead
• The cost of filing exceeds the benefit

Next Steps

1. Review your order — are the violated provisions specific and clear?
2. Compile your violation log with dates, evidence, and witnesses
3. Assess whether you have 3+ documented violations showing a pattern
4. Consult an attorney about the strength of your contempt case
5. File when you have strong evidence — not out of frustration