Creating a Parenting Plan That Works

The Blueprint for Your Co-Parenting Life

A parenting plan is the document that governs how you and the other parent share time with and responsibility for your children. A good plan prevents conflict. A vague plan guarantees it.

Regular Schedule

Be specific. "Reasonable visitation" is a lawsuit waiting to happen.

Common Arrangements

Every other weekend + midweek dinner: Traditional arrangement, works for school-age kids
2-2-3 rotation: 2 days with Parent A, 2 days with Parent B, 3 days with Parent A, then switch. Good for younger children who need frequent contact with both parents.
Week on/week off: Alternating full weeks. Works well for older children and when parents live close to each other.
5-2-2-5: Parent A has every Monday/Tuesday, Parent B has every Wednesday/Thursday, weekends alternate. Provides consistency.

Specify Everything

Pickup and dropoff times (not "around 6" — exactly 6:00 PM)
Location (school, parent's home, neutral location)
Who provides transportation
What happens if someone is late (30-minute grace period, then what?)

Holiday Schedule

Major Holidays (alternate yearly)

Thanksgiving
Christmas Eve / Christmas Day (some families split the day, others alternate years)
Hanukkah / other religious holidays
Easter / Passover
New Year's Eve / Day
July 4th

Minor Holidays

MLK Day, Presidents' Day, Memorial Day, Labor Day, Columbus Day, Veterans Day
Consider grouping with the preceding or following weekend

Birthdays

Child's birthday: Some plans give the birthday to one parent yearly, alternating. Others split the day or allow both parents to celebrate.
Parent birthdays: Some plans give the parent their children on their own birthday

Summer and School Breaks

Summer: Extended blocks (2–4 weeks) with each parent. Specify notice requirements for summer scheduling (30–60 days).
School breaks: Alternating or split. Spring break, winter break, teacher in-service days.
Vacation: Each parent gets 1–2 weeks for vacation. Require advance notice (30 days) and itinerary sharing.

Communication Provisions

Video/phone calls with the other parent during parenting time: schedule and frequency
Which app to use: OurFamilyWizard, TalkingParents
Response time for non-emergency messages (24 hours)
Emergency communication protocol

Decision-Making

Legal Custody Framework

Joint legal custody: Both parents must agree on major decisions
Sole legal custody: One parent makes major decisions
Hybrid: Joint on some decisions, sole on others

Decision Categories

Education: School choice, tutoring, special education
Medical: Non-emergency medical decisions, therapy, medications
Religious: Religious upbringing, ceremonies, education
Extracurricular: Sports, activities, camps

Specify a dispute resolution process if parents disagree (mediation before court).

Right of First Refusal

When one parent needs childcare during their time for more than a specified period (often 4+ hours), the other parent gets first option before a babysitter is called. This maximizes each parent's time with the children.

Dispute Resolution

Build in steps before running to court:

Direct discussion via co-parenting app
Mediation (specify how a mediator is selected)
Parenting coordinator (if appointed by the court)
Court as a last resort

Resources

Family Law Self-Help Center — parenting plan templates you can adapt
UpToParents.org — free co-parenting education
OurFamilyWizard — schedule management and communication

Next Steps

Draft your proposed schedule using the framework above
Use a parenting plan template from Family Law Self-Help Center
Be specific about every detail — vagueness breeds conflict
Present your plan to the other parent or your attorney
Be willing to negotiate — judges favor parents who show flexibility