Communication Tools the Court Respects
Why Your Text Messages Aren't Good Enough
Text messages are the default communication for most co-parents. They're also terrible for custody cases. Messages can be deleted, taken out of context, and are hard to organize for court. Purpose-built co-parenting apps solve these problems.
The Big Three: Compared
OurFamilyWizard
Cost: $99/year per parent Fee waivers: Available through many courts — ask your judge or clerk
Features:
- Messaging with read receipts and timestamps
- Shared calendar with schedule management
- Expense log for tracking shared costs
- Info Bank for storing medical, school, and emergency information
- ToneMeter (flags hostile language before you send it)
- Professional access for attorneys, mediators, and judges
Why courts love it: Many judges specifically order OurFamilyWizard in high-conflict cases. The professional access feature lets the court monitor communication in real time. Records are unalterable and printable.
TalkingParents
Cost: Free basic tier; premium features available
Features:
- Unalterable, timestamped messaging
- Shared calendar
- Accountable Calls (recorded and transcribed phone calls — premium)
- Court-admissible records
- Printable communication reports
Why courts love it: The free tier makes it accessible to everyone. Unalterable records mean neither parent can claim the other "deleted" messages. The Accountable Calls feature is unique and powerful.
AppClose
Cost: Free
Features:
- Co-parenting calendar
- Messaging
- Expense sharing and tracking
- Schedule change requests
Why it works: Completely free, easy to use, covers the basics. A good option if cost is a barrier.
Bonus: Cozi
Cost: Free
A shared family calendar — not a co-parenting app per se, but useful for coordinating schedules, activities, and appointments. Good supplement, not a replacement.
Why These Beat Text Messages
| Feature | Text Messages | Co-Parenting Apps | |---|---|---| | Deletable | Yes | No | | Timestamped | Sometimes | Always | | Organized | No | Yes | | Court-admissible | Maybe | Yes | | Printable reports | Difficult | One-click | | Shared calendar | No | Yes | | Expense tracking | No | Yes | | Professional monitoring | No | Yes (OFW) |
How to Request the Court Order a Specific App
Include it in your motion or proposed parenting plan:
"Both parties shall communicate about child-related matters exclusively through [OurFamilyWizard/TalkingParents], except in cases of genuine emergency requiring immediate voice communication regarding the child's safety."
How to Present App Records in Court
- Print the relevant message threads or calendar entries
- Include them in your evidence binder as exhibits
- Highlight key messages that support your position
- The records speak for themselves — timestamps and unaltered content are powerful
Tips for Messages That Help Your Case
- Be the parent you'd want the judge to see
- Every message should be something you'd be proud to read aloud in court
- Keep messages brief, factual, and about the children
- Don't take the bait when the other parent provokes
- Respond to substance, ignore hostility
- Save the emotional processing for your therapist, not the app
Next Steps
- Choose your app: TalkingParents (free) if cost is an issue, OurFamilyWizard ($99/yr) for full features
- Set up your account today
- Ask the other parent to join (or request the court order it)
- Move ALL co-parenting communication to the app
- Let your text messages become evidence-free zones
This information is for educational purposes and is not legal advice. Always consult a qualified attorney for your specific case.