Responding to False Allegations

Your World Just Tilted. Here's How to Steady It.

False allegations in a custody case can feel like a gut punch. Abuse, neglect, substance use — whatever the claim, your instinct is to scream from the rooftops that it's not true. That instinct will hurt you. Here's the strategic response.

Step 1: Do NOT React Emotionally

Do not call the other parent. Do not send an angry text. Do not post a defense on social media. Do not confront them at pickup. Every emotional reaction becomes their evidence that you're "volatile" or "aggressive."

Breathe. This is a legal problem that requires a legal solution.

Step 2: Get an Attorney Immediately

False allegations escalate fast. A restraining order, CPS investigation, or criminal referral can follow. You need an attorney before you speak to anyone — investigators, police, CPS workers, anyone.

Avvo — search for family law attorneys with false allegation experience
LawHelp.org — free legal aid by state
ABA Free Legal Answers — free legal Q&A

Step 3: Build Your Defensive Timeline

Create a detailed timeline of the period covered by the allegations:

Where were you on the dates alleged? Calendar entries, GPS data, work records, receipts
Who were you with? Identify witnesses for each relevant date
What was your communication with the children and the other parent? Pull all records
Are there school, medical, or therapy records that contradict the allegations?

Step 4: Gather Contradicting Evidence

Evidence that directly contradicts the claims is your strongest tool:

Photos and videos: Happy, healthy interactions with your children around the time of alleged incidents
Communication records: Texts, emails, co-parenting app messages showing normal, positive co-parenting
Third-party statements: Teachers, coaches, pediatricians who observed your children and saw no signs of what's being alleged
Medical records: If abuse is alleged, medical records showing no injuries
Character witnesses: People who can speak to your parenting and character

Step 5: Understand the Legal Process

False allegations in custody cases typically follow one of these paths:

Allegations in court filings: Addressed through your legal response and evidence at hearings
CPS investigation: See our CPS Survival Guide for detailed guidance
Restraining order petition: See our DVRO Defense guide
Criminal complaint: Get a criminal defense attorney in addition to your family law attorney

Step 6: Conduct Yourself Impeccably

From this moment forward, assume everything you do is being watched and recorded:

Follow every court order to the letter
Be early to every pickup and dropoff
Be calm and polite in every interaction
Continue your normal parenting activities
Attend every school event, medical appointment, and activity
Do not discuss the allegations with your children

The Long Game

False allegations often backfire — but it takes time. Courts eventually see through a pattern of unsubstantiated claims. Your job is to:

Not make it worse with emotional reactions
Build a factual record that contradicts the claims
Let the process work (and push it along with good evidence)
Maintain your relationship with your children through it all

Take Care of Yourself

Being falsely accused is one of the most stressful experiences in family court. Your mental health matters — and falling apart doesn't help your case.

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 — 988lifeline.org
NAMI Helpline: 1-800-950-6264 — nami.org/help
Find a therapist: Psychology Today — filter for "men's issues" and "divorce"

Next Steps

Get an attorney today
Build your timeline of the alleged period
Gather contradicting evidence
Follow every court order perfectly
Document everything going forward