Documenting Alienation for Court

Evidence That Proves Alienation

Claiming alienation without evidence gets you nowhere. Courts need proof. Here's how to build a case that a judge will take seriously.

Communication Logs

Your most powerful evidence is the pattern of communication:

Save every message: Use OurFamilyWizard or TalkingParents for all co-parenting communication. These create timestamped, unalterable records.
Highlight undermining behavior: Messages where the other parent cancels your time with vague excuses, makes unilateral decisions, or communicates hostility
Your own messages matter: Your calm, reasonable, child-focused communication contrasts with their behavior. Keep every message professional.
Indirect communication: Messages from the child that clearly contain the other parent's words or sentiments

Denied or Interfered Visitation

For every instance of denied or disrupted parenting time, document:

Date and time you were scheduled to have parenting time
What happened: Did they not answer the door? Not show up for exchange? Child refused and the other parent "supported the child's choice"?
Your response: Did you text, show up, wait? Document your efforts.
Witnesses: Who saw what happened?
Pattern: A calendar showing consistent denial is powerful visual evidence

School and Medical Records

Alienating parents often exclude the other parent from the child's life:

Request copies of all school records — are you listed as a parent? Are you receiving communications?
Check medical records — are you listed as a contact? Have they changed providers without telling you?
Extracurricular activities — are you being informed about games, recitals, events?
Document exclusion: If you're being left out, that's evidence of alienation behavior

Recording Laws and Child Statements

Children's statements can be evidence, but be careful:

Never record your child without understanding your state's recording laws (one-party vs. two-party consent)
Write down quotes with date, time, and context immediately after the child says something significant
Don't interrogate your child — if they volunteer information, note it. Never ask leading questions.
Therapist observations: If your child is in therapy, the therapist may observe alienation behaviors (though privilege rules vary)

Social Media Evidence

The other parent's social media may contain evidence:

Posts that disparage you (screenshot with timestamps)
Posts showing events you weren't told about
Posts showing the child being coached or involved in adult conflict
Do NOT create fake accounts to monitor them — that can backfire

Witness Statements

Collect observations from:

Teachers: Changes in the child's behavior, comments the child has made
Coaches/activity leaders: Child's demeanor, things they've said
Family members: What they've observed during visits
Friends/neighbors: Interactions they've witnessed

Ask for written statements. Don't pressure anyone.

When to Request a Custody Evaluation

If alienation is significant, a formal custody evaluation provides a professional, independent assessment. The evaluator will:

Interview both parents extensively
Observe parent-child interactions with both parents
Interview the child
Contact collateral sources (teachers, therapists, etc.)
Administer psychological testing
Write a detailed report with recommendations

Cost: $3,000–$10,000 (sometimes split between parties). Finding an evaluator who understands alienation dynamics is crucial. Ask your attorney for recommendations.

Organizing Your Evidence

Create a chronological binder:

Tab 1: Timeline of alienation behaviors
Tab 2: Communication records showing the pattern
Tab 3: Denied/disrupted visitation log
Tab 4: School and medical exclusion evidence
Tab 5: Child's statements and behavioral changes
Tab 6: Witness statements
Tab 7: Social media evidence

Next Steps

Set up a co-parenting app today for all communication
Start your documentation log immediately
Request school and medical records
Consult an attorney experienced with alienation cases
Consider requesting a custody evaluation