Preparing for Your Custody Hearing

30 Days to the Most Important Day of Your Case

Your custody hearing is where everything comes together — your evidence, your preparation, your composure. Judges form opinions in these hearings that can last for years. Here's how to be ready.

30 Days Before

Organize Your Evidence

• Review everything you've documented: journals, app messages, school records, medical records, financial documents
• Identify the 5–10 strongest pieces of evidence that support your position
• Discard anything that doesn't directly relate to your argument — quality over quantity

Identify Witnesses

• Who can speak to your parenting? Teachers, coaches, therapists, family members, neighbors
• Contact potential witnesses and confirm their willingness to testify or provide declarations
• Prepare a witness list with names, relationships, and what they can testify about

Prepare Your Testimony Outline

• What are the 3–5 key points the judge needs to hear from you?
• Write them down. Practice saying them clearly and concisely.
• Focus on the children's needs, not your grievances.

Review the Other Side's Filings

• Read every document they've filed. Understand their arguments.
• Prepare responses to their strongest points.
• Anticipate their witnesses and what they might say.

2 Weeks Before

Create Your Evidence Binder

(See our Evidence Binder guide for detailed instructions)

• Tab 1: Table of Contents
• Tab 2: Current court orders
• Tab 3: Financial documents
• Tab 4: Communication records
• Tab 5: Child records (school, medical)
• Tab 6: Documentation log
• Tab 7: Photos/evidence
• Tab 8: Witness information
• Tab 9: Character references

Prepare 3 copies: one for you, one for the judge, one for the other party.

Practice

• Practice your testimony with a friend or in front of a mirror
• Practice staying calm when hearing difficult things
• Practice answering "yes" or "no" without over-explaining
• Time yourself — hearings have time limits

Confirm Witnesses

• Verify each witness can attend on the hearing date
• Brief them on when to arrive and courtroom procedures
• Remind them to dress professionally

1 Week Before

• Final meeting with your attorney (if represented)
• Review evidence binder one final time
• Confirm courtroom location and time (check the court's website)
• Plan your outfit: suit or dress shirt with slacks, conservative and clean
• Arrange childcare for the hearing day (do NOT bring children to court)
• Check local court rules for any last-minute requirements

Night Before

• Lay out your clothes
• Organize your binder and materials by the door
• Set two alarms
• Eat a real dinner
• No alcohol
• Get 7+ hours of sleep
• Review your key points one last time, then stop. You're as prepared as you're going to be.

Morning Of

• Eat breakfast — you need energy and focus
• Review your 3–5 key points
• Arrive 30 minutes early
• Check in with the clerk
• Find the courtroom and settle in
• Use the restroom before the hearing starts
• Silence your phone
• Breathe.

In the Courtroom

• Stand when the judge enters
• Address the judge as "Your Honor"
• Do not interrupt — wait your turn
• Stay calm, no matter what you hear
• Speak clearly and directly
• Answer questions honestly — don't volunteer extra information
• Reference your evidence: "Your Honor, Exhibit 4 shows..."
• Never argue with the other party — speak to the judge
• If you don't understand a question, say so. Don't guess.

After the Hearing

• Write down everything you remember about what happened
• Get a copy of any orders issued
• Debrief with your attorney
• Regardless of the outcome, you showed up and fought for your children

If you need support after a difficult hearing:

• 988 Lifeline: Call or text 988
• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741

Next Steps

1. Mark your hearing date and work backward using this timeline
2. Start your evidence binder today
3. Identify and contact potential witnesses this week
4. Practice your testimony out loud
5. Trust your preparation. You've got this.