Modification vs. Contempt: Which Do You Need?

Two Different Tools for Two Different Problems

Fathers often confuse these two legal actions. They solve different problems, and filing the wrong one wastes time and money.

Contempt = Enforce the Existing Order

You file for contempt when the other parent isn't following the current court order. The order is fine — the problem is compliance.

Examples:

• The other parent consistently drops off late or picks up early
• They deny your scheduled parenting time
• They refuse to share medical or school information
• They make major decisions (schooling, medical, religious) without your input when the order requires joint decision-making
• They moved without proper notice

Contempt says: "Judge, the order is clear. They're violating it. Make them comply."

Modification = Change the Order

You file for modification when the order itself needs to change because circumstances are different now.

Examples:

• You got a new job with a different schedule and need adjusted parenting time
• The child is older and the schedule no longer fits their needs
• The other parent developed a substance abuse issue
• You want to increase your parenting time based on changed circumstances
• A relocation is involved

Modification says: "Judge, things have changed since the last order. The order itself needs to be updated."

Can You File Both?

Yes. And sometimes you should. If the other parent is violating the current order AND circumstances have changed, you can file both a contempt motion and a modification petition simultaneously. This is actually a common strategy.

For example: if the other parent has been denying your visitation (contempt) AND has moved further away (modification), both actions address different aspects of the problem.

When Modification Is More Strategic Than Contempt

Sometimes contempt isn't worth pursuing even when violations are clear:

• Minor violations: If the violations are small (15 minutes late, occasional schedule mix-ups), judges may view a contempt filing as petty. Document the pattern and save contempt for a clear, significant violation.
• The order is outdated: If the current order doesn't serve the child's needs, fighting to enforce it doesn't help anyone. Modify it to something better.
• You want more time: Contempt restores what you already have. Modification can give you more.

How Judges View Each

• Contempt: Judges expect you to show a clear order, the other party's knowledge of the order, and a willful violation. If all three are met, contempt is straightforward. But judges also consider whether you contributed to the problem.
• Modification: Judges look for a genuine change in circumstances and whether the proposed new arrangement serves the child's best interest. They're less interested in punishing the other parent and more interested in what works going forward.

Practical Considerations

| Factor | Contempt | Modification | |---|---|---| | Purpose | Enforce existing order | Change the order | | Standard | Willful violation | Material change in circumstances | | Outcome | Compliance, possible sanctions | New order | | Cost | $1,500–$5,000 | $2,500–$10,000+ | | Timeline | 1–3 months | 3–12 months |

Next Steps

1. Review your current court order carefully
2. Identify whether the problem is non-compliance or a need for change
3. Consult an attorney — Avvo, LawHelp.org
4. Document everything regardless of which path you choose

For more information on both processes, visit Nolo.com's Family Law section.